Sunday, 27 May 2007

Surviving Singleness

1 Corinthians 7:7 says “I wish everyone could get along without marrying just as I do. But we are not all the same. God gives some the gift of marriage and to others He gives the gift of singleness.”

Singleness is described as a gift, but not all have this gift and not everyone is jumping up and down to receive this gift. It can leave you feeling vulnerable and even unqualified to deal with loneliness, belonging and sexuality. It would be easy to think that these pains are unique to the single, but they are not—they are human pains.

Some things I didn't get to mention this morning:
1 Cor 7: 32 -35 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

I love being married and I love my kids but there are times when my loyalties are divided. When I go off on a trip I miss my family, one of my boys finds school harder during that time. If you are single you don't have these divided loyalties though you don't have the coming home party either.

Things change when you get married,when you're single, your time and money are flexible. I get paid more now than I was single but I have a lot less for me. Money goes in different directions,Think about that.

Ecc 3:11 God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end. (NLT)

If you're single your life is not on hold God has placed eternity in your heart, you are designed for meaning;

live deliberately.

To the singles in the Vineyard I want to say you guys are great and you add and bring so much to our community of faith, you are an integral part of our church family so thanks and keep stewarding your life with passion and purpose.


Wanderer said...

I know that 'singleness is a gift', and I also know that marriage raises lots of responisbilities that weren't there before ... but what if there is a yearning heart to not be single? What if someone's dream is to be married, have a family, do life with someone ... as we're all created for relationship, surely, for most, the desire for a 'mate' is one of the largest urges. For those who are scared, worried, concerned, disappointed they haven't found someone yet, what would you sY?

jasondscott said...

Alot of people are single not by choice.Many people would like to get married but just due to circumstances at this particular stage in life are not married. They’re single. And the vast majority of single adults fall into this category. You feel like you’re made to be married but for one reason or another you’re not. There are many legitimate circumstances that would cause you to be single at some area or stage in your life. Maybe you’ve never been asked to get married. Or maybe you’ve never found anybody worth marrying. You’ve just never found anybody that you thought, “I’d like to commit my life to that person the rest of my life.”

What would I say? Keep living your live on purpose, don't feel that your on the holding bay, again start to live deliberately.

I'm still very old fashioned in that I beleive in love and as simplistic as it sounds I also believe God gives you the desire of your heart.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't be so sure that "singleness is a gift". The translation you picked is a modern one. Try looking at 1 Corinthians 7:7 in a more traditional version like the King James or even the NIV. There is no "gift of singleness" there, in fact Paul appears to be describing a gifting that enables a high degree of self-control over one's sex drive, and this was traditionally regarded as a rare gifting of celibacy in order to achieve some Kingdom work that would be incompatible with a spouse and family. This is a far cry from mere "singleness".
A very good book on this subject is: "Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the gift of singleness" by Debbie Maken. She shows how far removed from the traditional Christian view of singleness and marriage we are today and how far we have veered away from the Biblical blueprint.
We are living in a time where singleness is growing exponentially. It appears we are now making the Bible suit our culture, and are putting God's stamp of approval on a lifestyle that the Bible actually doesn't validate.